


drowning in my own blood

by domharry1994



Category: Larry Stylinson - Fandom, One Direction
Genre: Bottom Louis, Cutting, Depression, Height difference, Insecure Louis, Insecurity, Kissing, M/M, Medication, One Shot, Sad Harry, Sad Louis, Smut, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Swearing, Tommo Tummy, Top Harry, Vacation, body worshipping, jk, prompt, selfharm, small louis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-03
Updated: 2015-11-03
Packaged: 2018-04-29 16:35:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5134853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/domharry1994/pseuds/domharry1994
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>what was going to be a fun vacation took a right turn to hell when Louis doesn't take his depression pills</p>
            </blockquote>





	drowning in my own blood

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy this, constructive criticism! Warnings! Check tags. Sorry if the end seems rushed, I'll probably change it but I really wanted to post this tonight. Lidos and comment, literally means a lot.

“Harry will I need trousers or jumpers?” Louis yelled out to harry who was in their shared bathroom packing what was essential.  
Two muscular arms snaked around his middle and harry rested his chin on Louis’s shoulder.  
“Whatever you’re comfortable with love, I think it gets chilly late at night so to be safe pack some warm clothes. Also, baby, we’ll be swimming quite an awful lot so don’t forget to either pack a wet suit or trunks,” harry replied and left a kiss on the side of Louis’s head and then headed back in the bathroom.  
“Harry!” Louis yelled out again, a little nervous.  
“Yes my dear?” Harry shouted out from the bathroom. Louis bit his lip and looked down at his covered arms.  
“Do you.. do you think if I wear a short sleeve shirt.. people will stare?” Louis asked, a little subconsciously. Harry scoffed.  
“Who fucking cares what they think, they’re a part of you Lou, you can’t hide from them. Don’t let your scars spoil your time alright? If anyone says anything I’ll smash their fucking teeth in,” harry said loudly, lightly teasing(but not really) at the end. Louis laughed lightly, still a little upset. Footsteps padded into their bedroom and harry was stood in front of Louis. He lightly grabbed his chin and angled his head so Louis was looking him in the eye.  
“I love you, every part of you,” harry brought up his arm and pulled back the sleeve. Faded scars covering Louis whole forearm, he lightly peppered kisses over them, causing Louis to giggle.

Louis popped his depression pills while having an early breakfast with harry before the long drive towards the cottage.  
“Remember to take those with us Lou, there aren’t any pharmacies for miles where we’re going,” harry reminded lightly, Louis nodding and taking a bite of his bagel.

“Oh! I love this song! Dun dun da dunda dun dad a, I wish I could do better byyyy-“ Louis sang loudly, harry laughing at his poor attempt at singing and doing the instruments of the girl by city and colour.  
“Love, this is your CD, you love everything on it,” and sure enough, each song was Louis’s favorite.

 

The car ride was seven hours but harry enjoyed it, he loved spending time like this with Louis. Holding his hand, listening to him belt out his favorite songs, watching him sleep peacefully against the window and maybe “accidently” brushing over his crouch when he hits a bump to watch a blush cover louis’s face.

"We're here!" Harry cheered as the car pulled up to a cute wooden cabin. Louis's blue eyes lit up as he took in the area, beautiful lake right in front of the medium sized cabin, a swing hanging from a large oak tree and the best part is no people. They got out of the car and popped the knots out of their backs.  
"So.. You like it?" Harry asked and looped his arm around Louis.  
"I love it!" Louis exclaimed and harry chuckled.  
"Cmon babe, let's get our bags inside," 

 

"Louis!!!" Harry yelled from the living room, him and Louis we're going to have a beach day but Louis had been getting ready now for almost an hour when in reality it only took five minutes to put on trunks. 

"Louis!" No response. Harry groaned and made his way up the stairs to their bedroom, not bothering to knock and just walk in. The sight infront of him broke his heart. 

Louis's eyes were swollen and cheeks wet with tears, he stood in his trunks, sucking in his stomach and sniffling when he pushed it out. The tummy that harry loved was Louis's worst nightmare. Faded cuts covering his upper thighs, ankles, stomach, rib cage and arms. 

"Baby, come here," harry sounded close to tears himself, Louis folded his arms over his stomach and padded over to harry, looking down. Harry uncrossed his arms and knelt down to his stomach. 

"Don't!" Louis cried, "I hate my stomach fat! Stop looking at it!" 

Harry ignored and peppered kisses all around it, occasionally sucking a few hickies. 

"I love you okay? You're beautiful and need to stop beating yourself up over your body. Now, let's go swimming and have a good time, alright love?" Louis silently nodded and gripped Harry's hand as they made their way to the beach. 

The first few days of their vacation were great, filled up swimming and quick handjobs at breakfast and lots and lots of sex. But than, day four rolled around. 

Louis was looking quite nervous at breakfast and harry realized Louis hadn't taken his pills at all since they've been here

"Louis, baby, you've been taking your pills, right?" Harry asked lightly, Louis looked down and shook his head. 

"Oh my god Lou, have you ever missed your doses before?" Louis nodded and harry almost felt a little better until Louis pulled up his sleeve and showed harry his only vertical mark. 

. 

"Baby, this our last night here, okay? Do you think you can go without your pills until morning?" Harry asked, Silent tears began to roll down Louis's cheeks. 

"I'll be fine," he nearly whispered, harry didn't believe it but he didn't want to go back, he had something planned for tonight. 

 

He gripped the knife tightly in his hand, how easily he could slit his neck and bleed out, a slow, painful death. What he deserves. 

"Louis wh- WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!?" Harry yelled frantically and grabbed the knife from Louis and rushed him to the bathroom. Louis looked down and almost gasped, his cuts that he had waited for ages to heal had been reopened and blood was dripping down his arm. He didn't remember doing these. He tried not to smile he really did but he couldn't help it.  
"Why are you smiling!" Shouts an enraged Harry, he was fuming. Fists clench and nostrils flared.  
"Harry," Louis asked hesitantly as Harry started to clean his arm. Harry paused and looked up through dark eyes.  
"What."  
"Can you grab me a glass of water? I'm parched," Louis asked innocently, even fluttering his eye lashes a bit for more effect. Harry gave him a strange look.  
"Okay, fine. I'll be right baby, leave the door open," Louis nodded and kissed Harry on the cheek.  
"Love you," he whispered, barely audible.  
Harry mumbled back an I love you and left the bathroom, making his way into the kitchen. Louis darted up from his spot on the toilet and locked the door. Harry perked up from the kitchen when he heard the sound of a lock and the sound if the shower turned on. He dropped the glass of water, the glass breaking and water pooling on the floor but that didn't matter. Louis was going to try to kill himself and Harry felt so stupid for leaving him alone, even stupider for not taking him home when they first realized he didn't have any pills. 

He rushed up the stairs and barged into the shared bedroom, but it was empty. He heard crying coming from the connected bathroom. Harry tried the door but it was locked. 

"Louis! Open the door baby!" Harry screamed, banging on the door, the cries got louder. 

"Harry I-I can't," Louis cried back. 

Harry grabbed the chair that was sitting by a desk in the room and hit the doorknob off with it. The door opened and harry ran in. 

There sat the love of his life, sitting in a bath of his own blood, cuts up and down his arms, luckily his eyes still opened but they weren't the bright blue they usually are, instead a dull blue met Harry's eyes. 

Harry pulled Louis’s slightly conscious body out of the tub, crying as he held onto his broken boy. He quickly dialed for medical help and anxiously waited.  
“why would you do this to me!” harry cried, tears dripping off his chin onto Louis.  
“I love you so much! You selfish bastard!” harry cried some more, Louis slightly smiled.  
“I love you too,” he tried to rasp out.

Louis made a full recovery, and if he takes his medication he feels happy and like his normal self. Harry always makes sure everything is fine so he never has to find his love dying in a pool of his own blood again.  
Fin.


End file.
